hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
