I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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