Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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