no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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