Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
