3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
