as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Hippo gnu deer
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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