Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
