There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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