mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
