dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
