We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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