so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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