You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Randomize