Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
