You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
