Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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