I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
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