You can't motorboat a personality
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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