I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So vagazzling was a success
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
