I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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