We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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