so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
