For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
