Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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