so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I don't think brook has ever known best
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Randomize
