yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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