and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
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Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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