and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
