i permit you to call me
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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