is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
