Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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