they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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