last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he puts the penis in happiness.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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