Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
