It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
false alarm, still single
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
