He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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