she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
