Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
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By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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