I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
