okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize