idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize