Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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