Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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