Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
