I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
