Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
