I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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