Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never too late to be topless.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
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