it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
