don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize