i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
