I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
