I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
