Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
