you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
