I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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