please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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