apparently the secret to your success is patron
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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