Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
