just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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