I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
