I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
