Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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