Can i not drive my cunt home
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
