Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Hippo gnu deer
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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