i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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